J. W. Wells & Co. is well-known as a provider of blessings for all occasions. Our blessings pack a benedictive punch unmatched by any other provider, clerical or secular.
However, due to changing market dynamics, we're getting out of the blessings business. Since we need to clear our warehouse of them, we're offering fantastic bargains on our shilling, pound, and higher-denomination blessings.
In addition, we'll give you a penny blessing free just for coming into our store at 70 St. Mary Axe.
How potent our our blessings? A penny blessing might prevent an embarassing food spill, or keep one's shoes from coming untied all day. The holder of a shilling blessing might find rush-hour traffic surprisingly sparse, or find a pound note on the street -- now that's a good return on investment! With a pound blessing, you might never get sick this year, or perhaps meet that someone special you've been searching for...
We've some very powerful high-denomination blessings in our inventory, too. If you're looking to find a cure for cancer, bring about world peace, or make the trains run on time, please contact us.
Warning: Blessings based on different supernatural ideologies may cause dangerous cross-reactions. Do not take a J. W. Wells & Co. blessing if you have recently been blessed by a practitioner of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, or other organized religion. We care about your spiritual health! Ask us for a handy blessing cross-reaction table next time you visit.